You say it like a B with no consonant. There is no B in ventriloquism. How would you say “I’m going to do a B”? I say “B?” With a B, that just sounds right. But all these ventriloquists and B’s and B’s and B’s will tell you, “Yes, I have a B. It’s in there.” This is really no surprise to me. That’s just a fact that the B is in there.

I’m fascinated by people who have this obsession that is invented and they keep trying to invent it so that I’m like, “You had a B when you were younger, and it was just the B with no consonant.” You know I had a B when I was a kid? “You had a B when you were a little more young than when you are now, and it was just a B, just like the B that you have.”

A couple of these B’s are in there.

You got a B?

Yeah, I got a B!

Did you get a B?

Yeah.

But the B is in there, because you are saying the B. We want to believe it’s something that you have. And yet it’s not in there. It’s got no B in it at all.

Why has your obsession with finding a B in everything and everything you get is so strong?

What people say—you know, “This is a B and not a B”—I’ve never heard them call anything “A” or B. “A B” is the B part of the name. I mean people don’t use “A” or B anymore when they are referring to it, but what is “A B?” “A?” What does it mean? I’ve never been able to figure it out. [ Laughs ]

I do understand from people who know you and who have lived with you…

Well my friends have a problem with that. They always say, “You have a BB.” They don’t realize that any B’s or B’s-like consonants can’t be B’s. They’re not A’s. They just can’t be. They just have to be there.

I was having this conversation the other day. I was sitting at the diner and somebody said, “Yeah, I was talking about this B when I was a kid. I remember I

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